Happy Labor Day!

I am grateful to the Labor Movement for the Monday to Friday work week, eight hour work days (although I’m personally pushing for a 6 hr work day ) and the overall improvement of work conditions.

America is a wonderful country; I dare suggest she’s the best nation in the world to be a part of. But not that long ago even our beautiful country allowed some very unattractive standards.

These days if a rumor arises that a factory boss is not allowing the employees to leave until a big quota is met, the police (and news crews) would hustle over there without hesitation. 150 years ago holding workers hostage without food or breaks for the sake of production quotas was common place.

By the end of the 19^th century workers who had moved to the cities from the farms in search of a better opportunity to achieve “The American Dream” realized that any chance at a dream was next to impossible working as de facto indentured servants. For the workers of The Industrial Revolution 12 hour shift work in airless factories filled with polluted air often stretched into 18+ hour shifts with few if any breaks. Sleep deprivation and a lack of adequate oversight by factory foremen and managers often resulted in injury or death for the workers manning the machines.

Labor Day has come a long way from its roots in the mid 19^th century. We no longer have to contend with outbreaks of rioting because that month too many workers died while working for near slave wages in an unsafe factory. Gone are the stories and pictures of overworked children crippled while tending to textile machines. These days, the biggest concern I hear about in reference to Labor Day is whether the weather’s going to cooperate and how to prevent the potato salad from spoiling.

During your much deserved celebrations I hope you are also able to honor those “who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold,” as Peter J. McGuire, the general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners and a cofounder of the American Federation of Labor hoped.

Honor all the hard work that Americans before you have strived for this Labor Day by relaxing with your family and friends while enjoying today’s sunset.

With a cold drink in my hand,

Glory

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The Many Repurposings of Tampons

By Glory Fink

I learned from a good friend while at boarding school that those phone book thick maxi pads are ideal for writing holiday greetings onto. What with the fabulous adhesive on the back of the pads you just draw on the pads, slap them on the outside of your dorm room door and Voila! Holiday decorating is done, now on to studying for mid-terms.

As a wide eyed young maiden wandering through the rice fields of The Philippines I learned that all mercenaries worth their liquor carry tampons in their emergency case. It seems that the ultra absorbent cotton rods are ideal for stoppering bullet hole wounds when you’re too many clicks away from the nearest safe house/band aid station.

I’m a dyed in the wool Girl Scout. I believe that everything can be repurposed and often should be. I am all about making the best with what you have on hand. I have made my own camp oven and let me tell you, the biscuits baked in it were delicious!

Nevertheless, my initial reaction to Tampon Crafts was, “Ewwwww!” After that I was moved by morbid curiosity and had to click through in order to view the train wreck that surely had to be the crafting of tampons.

I’m not going to try to prejudice you with my own thoughts about this site. But I will say that some of these crafts were not invented by a single, unassisted female mind. No, there were men folk involved. You don’t get a sophisticated tampon blow gun utilizing several different brands of Tampons and PVC piping without men cheering the creativity on. There’s even instructions for a tampon bandolier!

Browsing the site, I do wonder how our civilization would be altered if we were able to harness such creative brain power for solving pressing issues such as wide spread hunger, unsafe drinking water and how to get Paula Abdul to meet with Dr. Drew for a “Coming to Jesus” intervention.

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory at askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

About the Author:

Glory Fink is a writer, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a licensed educator, a wannabe dilettante, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Schrödinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her friends humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her dreams.

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: run down) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her miniature dachshund and one cat who isn’t. The outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as a ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

Copyright © 2009, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at copyright@askglory.com.

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(A few days ago a I read a twitter from Deepak Chopra about what values and qualities guide him. For what ever reason I haven’t been able to stop thinking about his statement. Here is my response.)

The values and qualities that constantly guide me are are:
finding and using the passion that upwells inside of me, nurturing relationships and focusing on my skills as a teacher.

What guides you?

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Do You Have Your Power Panties On?

By Glory Fink

August has been the month of The Power Panties down here in Southern Mississippi, at least with just about everyone I know. So let me ask the all important question:

Do you know where your Power Panties are?

Better still, should I be asking you if you have even one pair of Power Panties? Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes!

For the record, “Power Panties” is a pair of panties that you think you look hot/sexy/gorgeous/rumpelicious, ect… AND that are comfortable enough to wear all day. Yes, all day. When you wear said fabulous undergarment you feel sexy, secure and in touch with your inner Sex Goddess.

She is wearing her Power Panties, now watch her saunter!

Did you notice that underneath Clark Kent’s very proper suit he wore a full body spandex get-up? His Power Panties were huge! But he wore a pair EVERY day! Maybe Kryptonite weakens the elasticity in his Superman suit hence his confidence wanes. Never underestimate the confidence lent by a beautiful and secure pair of Power Panties.

If you are without even one pair (and really you should have at least 7 pairs) then it is time to start the hunt, sugar! Every woman needs her Power Panties.

I discovered Power Panties and received my first pair through my mother. (Yes, I know that isn’t how hot, sexy stories begin.) Years ago, I think Mom thought I was in danger of being elected mayor of Frumpy Town. She gave me my first and only pair of cheeky panties that never ride up one’s butt and yet always look cute while covering a multitude of sins. They are Power Panties. Meow!

So that’s my very first pair of Power Panties, tell me about yours! I swear I will mail you a prize to the person with the craziest looking Power Panties or story.

With a drawer full of Power (Panties),

Glory

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory at askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

About the Author:

Glory Fink is a writer, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a licensed educator, a wannabe dilettante, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her friends humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her dreams.

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: run down) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her miniature dachshund and one cat who isn’t. The outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as a ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

Copyright © 2009, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at copyright@askglory.com.

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Glory’s Life Lesson # 8

Do you finish most weeks hoping that your upcoming week will be quiet and uneventful so that you can finally catch your breath and focus on your long neglected projects?

Glory’s Life Lesson # 8: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

Unless you do finally move to that isolated cave in the middle of nowhere and shun all human contact, you will always be around other people and with people comes drama. There are many legitimate problems that affect everyone’s life. Loved ones fall ill, financial difficulties, relationships alter, ect. Expect them and do your best to act in a way you can be proud of long after the event is past.

Unfortunately the most common kind of drama is what I call, “drama llamas.” Drama Llamas occur when a little issue or situation gets blown up into a state of emergency by someone with too much time on their hands. Nothing major happened. No one went to the hospital or lost their life savings. Everyone is able to still do all their daily obligations. The world is still spinning. And yet someone keeps adding fuel to the fire making an uproar.

It seems like this problem won’t go away and the more time goes by the bigger and more monstrous it gets. That’s a drama llama and it must be corralled and put away or it will be spitting in your facing and trampling all over your fun for a very long time. Drama llamas insist they need to be urgently attended to but in reality they will suck all your energy away and leave you with nothing positive in the end.

No matter what you do as long as you are surrounded by humans you will have drama crop up in your life. But if you spend most of your energy and time reacting to these situations and save no time and energy for the things that truly feed your spirit you will one day wake up 10 years older feeling like a dried up husk of your former self. You will have a hard time remembering the last time you laughed, sang or danced with abandon and you will have little or no accomplishments to show for your time on Earth because all you did was react to others rather than act with purpose in your Life.

This week allow yourself to dream. Dream BIG, sugar. Name three things you want to accomplish for yourself between this week and the rest of your life. And raising kids only counts as ONE thing. No cop outs. There are plenty of people who will happily try to hold you back, so don’t do the hard work for them. You’re dreaming BIG right now. Allow YOU to reach for the heavens. Next week you’re going to find out what you’re going to do with those three beautiful dreams when you read Glory’s Life Lesson #9!

With a sky of love,

Glory

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory at askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

About the Author:

Glory Fink is a writer, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a licensed educator, a wannabe dilettante, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her friends humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her dreams.

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: run down) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her miniature dachshund and one cat who isn’t. The outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as a ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

Copyright © 2009, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at copyright@askglory.com.

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Today, we mourn the loss of Lil’ Sucka. He is survived by Smalls, Meth-O (formally Methosaurus) and The Corey Posse. Lil’ Sucka’s parting was preceded by the tragic loss of Clyde Frog a year ago and Biggie, whose presence is still felt two years after his passing. Lil’ Sucka’s family asks that in lieu of condolence flowers to please donate fish food and aquarium plants to your local fish recue organization.

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To all my sisters-in-arms out there who have told me through tears and chardonnay, “What does he mean I don’t love him? Don’t I make him dinner, fold his clothes, put up with his farting in the bed and care for his children?!?! If I didn’t love him with all of me, I’d have been loooong gone!”

How I tell you

By Glory Fink

You ask me for proof

but how can I prove my love to you?

I have no grand gestures,

 no great powers with which to awe you.

I have only the quiet,

day-to-day gestures that in every way

show you how my very breath

waits for you.

When I make chicken for dinner

what I really mean is, “I adore you.”

When I tell your Mom how much we miss her

and are making plans for her next visit

I’m whispering to you,

“I love the smell of your neck.”

When I make your doctor’s appointment

and insist you go

I’m really imploring to you,

“Please, stay here with me a little longer.”

This is all I have to prove my feelings

because simply telling you, “I love you”

can’t even begin to describe

what I feel inside me for you.

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