What to Do When the Thrill is Gone
By Glory Fink
When you first met the love of your life (or at least your current love), it was wine and roses, fireworks, and long Sundays in bed all day, every day. It was magic, unlike any love before. THIS romance would last forever.
Then one day you realized that your never ending game of “Slap and Tickle” had been on hiatus for so long that you couldn’t remember the last time you two played. Not to worry, my lonesome lovebird. Your romance is not dead. It is but slurping tapioca and playing shuffleboard at the nursing home. Your brain is the most powerful sexual organ you possess. It is time to revive your limp libido. Here are a sample handful of high octane ideas to rev-up your romance.
1. The day you stop pursuing your love is the day you stop being lovers.
Just because you two have “caught” each other and pledged your undying love in no way does this excuse you from pledging your undying love tomorrow, the day after and so on for at least the next 40 years. If you have already begun to whine that you don’t have time and energy to keep romancing your lover may I point you in the general direction of a few good abbeys, monasteries and Zen retreats. Great romances have never been achieved by lazy people.
2. Compliments will get you EVERYTHING even if you‘ve said it before.
Even lovers of psychics have to elaborate about their love. While you may have already explained in no uncertain terms everything you adore about your sweet-ums, you need to repeat and expound on their attributes for as long as you both shall live. You just might want to keep notes to avoid repeating yourself too often. Be explicit, be raw, be raunchy, be sweet, be grandiose, be eloquent – tell him/her in no uncertain terms why you like, love, adore, and find charming all of hers/his endearing qualities, eccentricities, strengths, talents, ect…. Leave no stone unturned, no compliment unsaid, no sexy thought undone. People love to hear compliments by someone who knows their foibles and faux pas. (Back to the whole, “I love you for who your are” principle)
Also, after the first five years or so the “same old” gets frightfully dull. Mix it up! If you usually whisper sweet nothings then write them instead. If you like to give tokens of your esteem, try music. Remember “mix tapes,” they were popular because they were so effective. Make a special playlist, “Songs to Love You By” and load it onto your sweetheart’s iPod. Nothin’ says lovin’ like Barry White and Rod Stewart on the same playlist.
3. Everything reminds me of you
You may be miles apart but staying in the heart and mind of the object of your desire will make your dreamboat feel as if she/he has never left. In order to stay in the upper most thoughts of your sweetie pie, you should remind your love bunny that you are always thinking about him/her. Text messages, notes left on the bathroom mirror and surprise $10 bills in their wallet with an attached post-it note, “To me you are worth more than all the bills in the Treasury” work well. Quick love notes hidden in coat pockets and glove compartments will endear your lambykins to you no matter what else is going on that day.
WARNING: This is a double-edged sword because if you remind sweetie-pooh too much, it’s called obsessing or smothering. At least two love gestures a week but no more than one a day is a safe zone. Hair dolls are not romantic in any way, shape or form. It didn’t work for Jason Schwartzman in “Slackers” and it won’t work for you.
4. The element of surprise has conquered battles, turned wars and won lovers.
Effective surprises can be big or small but the best ones are the kind that will be appreciated for their specialness. For me, red roses are okay, but they lack the wow-factor (I think my cat likes them more than me – to eat.) However, lavender roses are in a whole different garden. A surprise delivery of lavender roses sent to me by my husband while he was deployed overseas had me floating on Cloud Nine for weeks! When you combine the element of surprise with a romantic gesture, you will be able to steal into the unguarded chambers of the heart like a thief in the night.
Like any healthy relationship, the more you give the more you get. If you put in no effort, you will get jack squat out of it. A lifetime of love can only be achieved by the courageous and doggedly determined. Yes, keeping the thrill alive can be challenging while at the same time the rewards for success are immensely pleasurable.
About the Author:
Glory Fink is a writer, a housewife, a semi-permanent college student, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her husband humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her dreams.
Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: run down) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her husband/best friend, a miniature dachshund, and one cat who isn’t. The two outside cats came with the house; they are not pets as much as ninjas. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.
Copyright © 2008, Glory Fink
For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at copyright@askglory.com.
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