Do You Have Your Power Panties On?

By Glory Fink

 

August has been the month of The Power Panties down here in Southern Mississippi, at least with just about everyone I know. So let me ask the all important question:

 

Do you know where your Power Panties are?

 

Better still, should I be asking you if you have even one pair of Power Panties? Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes!

 

For the record, “Power Panties” is a pair of panties that you think you look hot/sexy/gorgeous/rumpelicious, ect… AND that are comfortable enough to wear all day. Yes, all day. When you wear said fabulous undergarment you feel sexy, secure and in touch with your inner Sex Goddess.

 

She is wearing her Power Panties, now watch her saunter!

 

Did you notice that underneath Clark Kent’s very proper suit he wore a full body spandex get-up? His Power Panties were huge! But he wore a pair EVERY day! Maybe Kryptonite weakens the elasticity in his Superman suit hence his confidence wanes. Never underestimate the confidence lent by a beautiful and secure pair of Power Panties.

 

If you are without even one pair (and really you should have at least 7 pairs) then it is time to start the hunt, sugar! Every woman needs her Power Panties.

 

I discovered Power Panties and received my first pair through my mother. (Yes, I know that isn’t how hot, sexy stories begin.) Years ago, I think Mom thought I was in danger of being elected mayor of Frumpy Town. She gave me my first and only pair of cheeky panties that never ride up one’s butt and yet always look cute while covering a multitude of sins. They are Power Panties. Meow!

 

So that’s my very first pair of Power Panties, tell me about yours! I swear I will mail you a prize to the person with the craziest looking Power Panties or story.

 

 

With a drawer full of Power (Panties),

Glory

 

 

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory at askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

 

About the Author:

Glory Fink is a writer, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a licensed educator, a wannabe dilettante, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her friends humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her dreams.

 

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: run down) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her miniature dachshund and one cat who isn’t. The outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as a ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

 

Copyright © 2009, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at copyright@askglory.com.

Killer Orgasms

 

By Glory Fink

 

Sex can be a beautiful and meaningful act. For some couples sex can even help to strengthen and deepen the shared emotional bonds. But sex can also maim and kill when common sense is ignored.

 

The first time I realized that people could die while having consensual sex I was watching the movie Rising Sun starring Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes. The two stars are investigating the strangulation of a young woman at the party of a new Japanese business. Eventually, the two uncover the woman’s fetish for autoerotic asphyxiation, a dirty little secret some people would like to keep hidden.

 

The movie was thought provoking and I talked about autoerotic asphyxiation or AeA with some of my friends. I learned that some very nice girls like to hold their breath right before they orgasm to heighten the sensation. I was surprised at the creativity but I didn’t think much of it until I watched Life as a House years later. Here I am watching a Kevin Kline movie and there is Hayden Christensen masturbating while strangling himself. I guess Anakin wants to make sure we know this is a serious Kevin Kline movie.

 

I found myself disturbed by this scene and I mentioned it to my guy friends to see if anyone knew any guys who pretended to hang themselves while masturbating. Every guy seemed to know of a friend from his youth who did it but no one owned up to doing it. After that, I started paying attention to unexplained hanging suicides of young men especially those in their underwear who didn’t leave a note.

 

I did a little research and uncovered a big taboo. Hundreds of years ago, people observed that hanged criminals had erections after death. People put two and two together and got bigger orgasms. During Victorian times London even had a “Hanged Men’s Club” that aided its members through the autoerotic asphyxiation process safely.

 

While 250 to 1000 deaths are attributed to AeA each year in America most parents are too ashamed to admit that their son was an accidental suicide and would rather clean up the scene before calling the cops and say he killed himself on purpose rather than he was trying to heighten his masturbation. Death by autoerotic asphyxia is almost entirely a 12-25 year old male problem and usually happened when the person was alone. Since many AeA accidents are caused by heart attacks before the person even loses consciousness the only benefit to having another person around is 911 is called.

 

These days young males are teaching each other to play “chocking games” by filming it and posting to YouTube and other sites. Unfortunately, these hormone driven youth are without the common sense God gave them and think nothing bad will happen while getting a sexual thrill though strangling.

 

Speaking of a lack of common sense, a friend of mine who works in an ER told me about another kind of AeA. Auto(mobile) Erotic Asphyxia caused one night by a young woman giving a BJ to the guy while he was driving. He hit a deer, and she accidentally bite through his penis. The car then crashed down a ravine where the couple was knocked unconscious. The woman suffocated due to the penis getting lodged deep in her throat and the man died from bleeding because no one saw the crashed car until dawn. If you want to get a hummer in your Hummer, pull over or do it in the back seat. Orgasms aren’t worth dying over.

 

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory@askglory.com or printz@usm.edu with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

 

 

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Originally published April 11, 2007 in the Student Printz

 

 

About the Author:

 

Glory Fink is a writer, a housewife, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her husband humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her imagination.

 

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: 19th Century era dilapidated) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her husband/best friend, a miniature dachshund,  and one cat who isn’t. The the outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

 

Copyright © 2007, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at glory@askglory.com.

 

The Audio version of the article as read by the author. Enjoy

This is the first Glory and Tom show. Today we talk about Apronal Anal Spray not to be confused with Apronal the oral Tylenol. This is the first podcast with opening and ending credits and music,  and it kept me up late finishing. So, I hope you enjoy it. For those who get annoyed at the audio we are getting in some new equipment and our podcasts should be sounding much better very soon.

Quick little note to those who already listened to this post. I updated the podcast with a somewhat better version. Downside is that it’s twice the size. Oh well, 20MB still isn’t that big for a 30 minute podcast. – Sitemonkey

This article is also available on Ask E. Jean’s FANTASTIC website under the Top Campus Columnists section.

The Conundrum of Genitalia
By Glory Fink

What does it mean to be male or female? Are the terms directly connected to the shape of our genitalia?

A better question might be what does it mean to be a man or a woman? Can women be strong, rational and brilliant, yet feminine and soft? Is it okay for men show emotion and be kind and tenderhearted, yet remain virile and macho?

A quick panty check assures me that I am very much female. However, showing that I am a woman is a much harder task. How can I show the world that I am a woman (hear me roar) without letting everyone in on a worldwide panty check broadcast on YouPorn?

It seems that being a woman or a man is a lot harder than being female or male. The very definitions of each are contradictory. Traditionally, women are supposed to be delicate, weak and gentle while men should be strong, unemotional and realistic.

If you watch TV, movies or even hang out for a day in a high school, you’ll find that stereotypes are alive and well. Going by what you see, women are sexual objects-creatures obsessed with appearance and desperately craving attention and acceptance from men and women who find them sexually attractive.

On the other hand, men are shown as careless morons who live for the next thrill and/or sexual tryst. According to stereotype, authentic men are unconcerned with (or unable to) form close emotional bonds with anyone in a friendship or romantic relationship. But who cares when your buddies film you lighting farts and then post it on YouTube for all the world to ridicule?

The one thing missing from all these traditional and modern stereotypes is a real person. A real person who bleeds, cries and gets lonely. Stereotypes don’t need real people to function; they run on a feedback loop fed by gullible teenagers and savvy media researchers. However, real people do need other real people. They need hugs and laughter, handholding and perhaps even some cuddling.

When you’re ready to let go of the stereotypes it’s time to find some real people. In your head or out loud say, “Hey, I’m a real person just trying to get through this life. I know I’m not perfect and sometimes I can really mess things up but what you see is what you get. I don’t expect any more or less from you.”

Don’t be surprised when real people turn into real friends and lovers.

Comments, suggestions and feedback are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory@askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.