Do You Have Your Power Panties On?

By Glory Fink

August has been the month of The Power Panties down here in Southern Mississippi, at least with just about everyone I know. So let me ask the all important question:

Do you know where your Power Panties are?

Better still, should I be asking you if you have even one pair of Power Panties? Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes!

For the record, “Power Panties” is a pair of panties that you think you look hot/sexy/gorgeous/rumpelicious, ect… AND that are comfortable enough to wear all day. Yes, all day. When you wear said fabulous undergarment you feel sexy, secure and in touch with your inner Sex Goddess.

She is wearing her Power Panties, now watch her saunter!

Did you notice that underneath Clark Kent’s very proper suit he wore a full body spandex get-up? His Power Panties were huge! But he wore a pair EVERY day! Maybe Kryptonite weakens the elasticity in his Superman suit hence his confidence wanes. Never underestimate the confidence lent by a beautiful and secure pair of Power Panties.

If you are without even one pair (and really you should have at least 7 pairs) then it is time to start the hunt, sugar! Every woman needs her Power Panties.

I discovered Power Panties and received my first pair through my mother. (Yes, I know that isn’t how hot, sexy stories begin.) Years ago, I think Mom thought I was in danger of being elected mayor of Frumpy Town. She gave me my first and only pair of cheeky panties that never ride up one’s butt and yet always look cute while covering a multitude of sins. They are Power Panties. Meow!

So that’s my very first pair of Power Panties, tell me about yours! I swear I will mail you a prize to the person with the craziest looking Power Panties or story.

With a drawer full of Power (Panties),

Glory

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory at askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

About the Author:

Glory Fink is a writer, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a licensed educator, a wannabe dilettante, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her friends humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her dreams.

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: run down) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her miniature dachshund and one cat who isn’t. The outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as a ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

Copyright © 2009, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at copyright@askglory.com.

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Killer Orgasms

By Glory Fink

Sex can be a beautiful and meaningful act. For some couples sex can even help to strengthen and deepen the shared emotional bonds. But sex can also maim and kill when common sense is ignored.

The first time I realized that people could die while having consensual sex I was watching the movie Rising Sun starring Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes. The two stars are investigating the strangulation of a young woman at the party of a new Japanese business. Eventually, the two uncover the woman’s fetish for autoerotic asphyxiation, a dirty little secret some people would like to keep hidden.

The movie was thought provoking and I talked about autoerotic asphyxiation or AeA with some of my friends. I learned that some very nice girls like to hold their breath right before they orgasm to heighten the sensation. I was surprised at the creativity but I didn’t think much of it until I watched Life as a House years later. Here I am watching a Kevin Kline movie and there is Hayden Christensen masturbating while strangling himself. I guess Anakin wants to make sure we know this is a serious Kevin Kline movie.

I found myself disturbed by this scene and I mentioned it to my guy friends to see if anyone knew any guys who pretended to hang themselves while masturbating. Every guy seemed to know of a friend from his youth who did it but no one owned up to doing it. After that, I started paying attention to unexplained hanging suicides of young men especially those in their underwear who didn’t leave a note.

I did a little research and uncovered a big taboo. Hundreds of years ago, people observed that hanged criminals had erections after death. People put two and two together and got bigger orgasms. During Victorian times London even had a “Hanged Men’s Club” that aided its members through the autoerotic asphyxiation process safely.

While 250 to 1000 deaths are attributed to AeA each year in America most parents are too ashamed to admit that their son was an accidental suicide and would rather clean up the scene before calling the cops and say he killed himself on purpose rather than he was trying to heighten his masturbation. Death by autoerotic asphyxia is almost entirely a 12-25 year old male problem and usually happened when the person was alone. Since many AeA accidents are caused by heart attacks before the person even loses consciousness the only benefit to having another person around is 911 is called.

These days young males are teaching each other to play “chocking games” by filming it and posting to YouTube and other sites. Unfortunately, these hormone driven youth are without the common sense God gave them and think nothing bad will happen while getting a sexual thrill though strangling.

Speaking of a lack of common sense, a friend of mine who works in an ER told me about another kind of AeA. Auto(mobile) Erotic Asphyxia caused one night by a young woman giving a BJ to the guy while he was driving. He hit a deer, and she accidentally bite through his penis. The car then crashed down a ravine where the couple was knocked unconscious. The woman suffocated due to the penis getting lodged deep in her throat and the man died from bleeding because no one saw the crashed car until dawn. If you want to get a hummer in your Hummer, pull over or do it in the back seat. Orgasms aren’t worth dying over.

Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory@askglory.com or printz@usm.edu with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

About the Author:

Glory Fink is a writer, a housewife, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her husband humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her imagination.

Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: 19th Century era dilapidated) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her husband/best friend, a miniature dachshund,  and one cat who isn’t. The the outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.

Copyright © 2007, Glory Fink

For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at glory@askglory.com.

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I would like to draw your attention to The Museum of Menstruation & Women’s Health.

Is there asbestos in tampons?

View Cybil Shepard’s career as a Kotex girl.

How did Johnson & Johnson sell disposable maxi pads before The Great Depression?

Inquiring minds want to know!!!

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This is the first Glory and Tom show. Today we talk about Apronal Anal Spray not to be confused with Apronal the oral Tylenol. This is the first podcast with opening and ending credits and music,  and it kept me up late finishing. So, I hope you enjoy it. For those who get annoyed at the audio we are getting in some new equipment and our podcasts should be sounding much better very soon.

Quick little note to those who already listened to this post. I updated the podcast with a somewhat better version. Downside is that it’s twice the size. Oh well, 20MB still isn’t that big for a 30 minute podcast. – Sitemonkey

 Glory and Tom Show 1 [28:00m]: Play in Popup | Download

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Just like the MTV Unplugged Artists series, occasionally it’s nice to get more of the story behind the story.

I originally wrote this article in late October 2006 for my column, Pillow Talk in The Student Printz because I was, and still am concerned that sexual assault, molestation and rape is not given the amount of exposure it needs to reach the people who need to know…everyone. I’ve read my fair share of sexual assault awareness articles but too many of them seemed dry and detached. In writing this article, I aimed to bring the issue closer to the heart of my readers.

Instead, what happened was that thousands of issues of the Printz were removed from the stands and thrown into dumpsters. Several young women from a particular sorority were rumored to be the culprits. I think there was something about four of the young women being filmed by a security camera while committing the crime.

There were two popular theories for the theft. The most obvious, but in my opinion rather dubious theory was that the women of USM were disgusted with my most recent article (“The Boogeyman You Know”) and were ridding the campus of this scourge called Pillow Talk.

The other popular theory concerned an article about college students who were participating in a Playboy model drive. It would seem that one of the potential models was from a sorority in question and she told the reporter she was from that sorority. In reaction to the sorority in question having their reputation besmirched in print members of the local chapter systematically went about campus taking all available copies of the issue. I don’t know if the women who were identified on the tape ever said why they took all those issues of the Printz.

Perhaps I should have offered to speak at their next sorority meeting…

With love,
-Glory

The Boogeyman You Know
By Glory Fink

You may know someone who has been assaulted and not even know it.

The reason I mention this is because every two and half minutes someone in the US is sexually assaulted. Sexual assault covers a whole myriad of awful, hateful, loathsome, shocking, vile, vulgar, sexual things to someone who does not want to do anything of a sexual nature with the predator.

Two-thirds of all sexual assaults are done by someone the victim knows. Yes, friends do it, relatives do it, trusted authority figures do it, the most unlikely people we may know have been known to do it. It is not just the boogeyman hiding in the bushes. No, it may just be a neighbor you invite to dinner.

So, if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, especially the ones that are important, then don’t expect them to respect your “No!” when you say it to them, yell it at them, and finally scream it at the top of your lungs.

There is no band-aid for this problem. Be careful, be cautious.

Did you know that about 90 percent of all rapes are not reported because the victim is too embarrassed or intimated? This means 90 percent of all sexual predators are successful because they chose their victims well. Predators not only physically violate victims; they successfully mentally intimidate them to the point of silence. Guess what, if they did it once they will do it again all because their last victim was silent.

If you or someone you know is sexually assaulted get help immediately. Here are some sources:

The USM Health Clinic is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Thursday and until 4:30 p.m. on Friday or phone at 601-266-5390. The staff is trained to respect and dignify your medical visit. After hours, go to a late hour clinic or emergency room.

The Shafer Center for Crisis Intervention is a local service that offers excellent support and counseling to victims, their friends and family. The Shafer Center has a 24/7 crisis line you call toll free within 55 miles of Hattiesburg at 601-264-7777.

Another source is the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network operates this hotline and is currently testing a new online hotline at their website at www.rainn.org.

The best way to get back at a predator/criminal is to break the silence they cause in their victim.

Be strong, be loud, get help.

Comments, suggestions and feedback are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory@askglory.com with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.

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“We practice safe sex. We gave up the chandelier a long time ago.” -Kathy Lee Gifford

The articles I post are my original versions. Below is a link to the Student Printz online issue.

Pillow Talk: We can enjoy sex the iGen way

Sex, the iGen way
The Audio version of this article
By Glory Fink

They say that we are the Internet generation or the iGen. Geniuses everywhere have been inspired by our energy and demand for personalizable technology and products. Heck, we have made Walkman’s look like they are from “The Flintstones” when we got our hands on the iPod. Therefore, it should be no surprise that the adult industry has followed Silicon Valley’s example.

Baby, how did you get it to taste like root beer?
Growing up my mom only let us kids drink water, milk and on weekends off brand Kool-Aid. Like most college students, once I got to college I went a little crazy with the soda. Someone somewhere thought, “Hey, these kids are drinking soda all the time. Let’s make a personal lubricant in soda flavors. They’ll eat it up!” In January, Topco Sales unveiled Fizz brand soda flavored lubricants. Fizz is a sugar free, non-staining, water based lube and while Fizz isn’t carbonated, it does come in cherry cola, cola, grape, lemon-lime, orange and root beer. Yummah!

Follow the arrows, darling.
I am a big proponent of explicit instruction. Why bother waiting for your lover to figure out what you want done to you when you could simply tell him or her? Sugar Lips is a line of lipstick from Erotic Cosmetics that is colored, scented and flavored for fun. These lipsticks are edible and meant to be used on all sorts of body parts. Now, you don’t have to point and say, “nibble here” thereby killing the mood. Simply write nibble, kiss, suck or anything else you want at the appropriate location on your body and enjoy your ride.

Who let the dogs out?
In an effort to cater to the Hip Hop world Common Ground USA has launched Jimmie Hatz condoms, the “Official Condoms of the Hip Hop Kulture.” These condoms come in Rottweiler and Great Dane sizes; I’ll leave you to figure out which is bigger. Common Ground USA also has Jimmie Hatz flavored condoms in banana, strawberry and grape. Now you can let loose you dawg and not worry he’ll bring some nasty disease home after an evening with the playas. Please play responsibly.

Do you wear your vagina on your sleeve?
As the proud owner of a vagina, I have grown to love and adore mine. Perhaps you feel that same way, or maybe you are simply an ardent admirer. Either way, haven’t you always wanted to proclaim your love of vaginas publicly? I Love Vagina Clothing Co. is right up your alley. They have everything from clothing that will help you correct any misconceptions for your love of vaginas to wallets and the cutest little pussy coin purse with a pearl bead clasp. A must have for anyone who loves their own or other people’s vaginas.

Excuse me ma’am, but are you purring?
I know you never go anywhere without your cell phone. If you’re like the millions of college students all over America you probably text like it’s going out of style but don’t you wish you had another use for you cell? Purring Kitty software has answered your prayers, my sweet co-eds. For the price of a venti latte you can download software that will turn your cell into a “personal massager,” for your aching shoulders, of course. The software allows you to control your phone’s vibrating function to your happiest advantage. The reviews have been so good for Purring Kitty that you should probably refrain from using it while driving. Safety first!

While we’re talking about phones take a gander at the VibraExciter by VibraFun. This little bullet is activated by cell phone calls and text messages within a three-foot radius. Imagine the fun you could have had when you went to see “Happy Feet” and all those teenagers were texting like mad.

I’m too sexy for my vibrator…
Don’t you just love going to live concerts and feeling the beat of the music pulse through you? How would you like that feeling in the comfort of your own bedroom without spending loads of cash on a state-of-the-art sound system? Get a load of this; it would seem that the adult novelty industry and Silicon Valley have partnered to give you vibrators that pulse to the beat of your favorite music through your mp3 player. Suddenly, “Pump It” by The Black Eyed Peas has a whole new meaning. The iBuzz offers a bullet that connects to your iPod for its beat while the OhMiBod is longer at 5-1/2” with more of a wand feel. There is now a whole generation of mp3 vibes from a slew of different companies that have incorporated that handy dandy microchip into their toys to help aid your iOrgasm.

Links and further product suggestions can be found at AskGlory.Com. Your feedback and article ideas are always appreciated. Email us at printz @ usm.edu or Glory directly at glory @ askglory.com.

(Email addresses contain extra spaces to avoid spambots.)

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In my research about abstinence, chastity and celibacy I was hard pressed to find links/web sites that didn’t want my credit card number in order to read their curiculum/study guide, wasn’t specifically connected to a Christian church and didn’t push a separate agenda that wasn’t so strange I questioned if this website was already on the FBI’s Cult and Radical Extremist watch list.

Wikipedia post on sexual abstinence

Abstinence Is Foolproof? Think Again!

Understanding ‘Abstinence’: Implications for Individuals, Programs and Policies from The Guttmacher Report

The Good (and Bad?) News About Virginity Pledges from Time Magazine

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