Dear Enlightened Readers,
At the request of several enthusiastic and adamant women from the athletic department I’ve started working on a new series of articles.
I would appreciate your help with choosing which statements to address first.
If you have a moment please look over this brainstorming list of 43 Sexual Myths, Legends, Misconceptions and Burning Questions.
Pick your favorite 15 and put your list in the comments box. If you think of any others please feel free to include those, too.
Thanks for you help,
Glory
43 Sexual Myths, Legends, Misconceptions and Burning Questions.
1. You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex.
2. You can’t get pregnant if you’re on your period.
3. If a man has ejaculated in a pool and then you swim in it you’ll get pregnant.
4. Virgins can’t get or give STDs.
5. Alcohol and recreational drugs enhance sexual performance.
6. If a woman swallows semen, her body will become used to it and then she will be more likely to become pregnant if she has regular sex.
7. If you’ve had sex with more than three people in your life you’re a slut.
8. Women with the most expensive jewelry give the best blowjobs.
9. Semen is an excellent hair conditioner/facial moisturizer.
10. Semen is a good source of protein.
11. Can women really ejaculate?
12. Vaginas can be stretched out permanently.
13. Vibrators and masturbation make it harder for women to orgasm with a regular partner.
14. Ugly girls give the best blowjobs.
15. The more sexual positions you know the better a lover you are.
16. Fantasizing about people other than your partner is cheating.
17. You can only trust a man as far as you can throw him.
18. A man with big hands, nose, feet…equals a big penis.
19. Men are physically and mentally incapable of locating the clitoris.
20. Gay men have cats and small dogs. Straight men have big dogs.
21. Black men have huge penises. Asian men have tiny penises.
22. Lesbians are just women who can’t get any men to date them.
23. Gay men are all mama’s boys.
24. Orgasms are from the devil.
25. All men want to have three ways with their girlfriend.
26. A man is a horrible lover if he can’t make his partner orgasm.
27. Oral and anal sex isn’t really sex. Therefore, you can still be a virgin and do it.
28. The “pull out method” of birth control really works. Just the head, baby. Just the head.
29. Only gay men want to have anal sex.
30. Lubrication decreases the sensations of sex.
31. All women want to have sex with huge penises.
32. Women like it when their nipples are turned like radio controls.
33. Two minutes of foreplay is more than adequate if a woman really loves you.
34. Blowjobs are all the foreplay women need because it will make sex go faster.
35. You can’t have sex when you’re pregnant.
36. Lesbians never get STDs.
37. All gay guys have STDs.
38. All lesbians hate men, especially their fathers.
39. All women who like sex are nymphomaniacs.
40. Good sex is supposed to last an hour or more of intercourse.
41. Anyone who wants to tie up his or her willing partner is secretly an abusive person.
42. Only judgmental “church ladies” and horny college students read this column.
43. You can’t get an STD from giving oral sex.
(One day I’ll learn how to do cuts so the posts won’t take up so much room. -G)
This does mean that I will have alllllllllll that time to work on my end of term projects so that is what I have been doing and will be doing all week. There will be no Thursday issue of The Printz but what shall I write about for next week? From what I’ve heard many college students go back to their home towns for the holiday breaks and end up hooking up with old high school flames and crushes. Inevitably that means a few unplanned pregnancies and too many shared STDs. I’m confused by this sudden drop in good judgment. Maybe I should write about that.
