Recent articlesToday, we mourn the loss of Lil’ Sucka. He is survived by Smalls, Meth-O (formally Methosaurus) and The Corey Posse. Lil’ Sucka’s parting was preceded by the tragic loss of Clyde Frog a year ago and Biggie, whose presence is still felt two years after his passing. Lil’ Sucka’s family asks that in lieu of condolence flowers to please donate fish food and aquarium plants to your local fish recue organization.
To all my sisters-in-arms out there who have told me through tears and chardonnay, “What does he mean I don’t love him? Don’t I make him dinner, fold his clothes, put up with his farting in the bed and care for his children?!?! If I didn’t love him with all of me, I’d have been loooong gone!”
How I tell you
By Glory Fink
You ask me for proof
but how can I prove my love to you?
I have no grand gestures,
no great powers with which to awe you.
I have only the quiet,
day-to-day gestures that in every way
show you how my very breath
waits for you.
When I make chicken for dinner
what I really mean is, “I adore you.”
When I tell your Mom how much we miss her
and are making plans for her next visit
I’m whispering to you,
“I love the smell of your neck.”
When I make your doctor’s appointment
and insist you go
I’m really imploring to you,
“Please, stay here with me a little longer.”
This is all I have to prove my feelings
because simply telling you, “I love you”
can’t even begin to describe
what I feel inside me for you.
I hope your Thursday finds you happy and blessed.
Today I was reflecting on the fact that even though more times than I would like I have found myself frustrated with my current circumstances I am reminded that I still have it much better than many people. Sometimes I feel like I get so caught up in dealing with my daily challenges that I forget how blessed I am. I need to remember my gratitude when I feel overwhelmed as I think it will help me see the situation more clearly which will probably help clear up my feelings of being deluged in the first place. And here I have found my way back to the beginning of my thoughts with my resolution. 
“When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.”
-Beatles “Let It Be”
With love and blessings,
Glory
Sex can be a beautiful and meaningful act. For some couples sex can even help to strengthen and deepen the shared emotional bonds. But sex can also maim and kill when common sense is ignored.
The first time I realized that people could die while having consensual sex I was watching the movie Rising Sun starring Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes. The two stars are investigating the strangulation of a young woman at the party of a new Japanese business. Eventually, the two uncover the woman’s fetish for autoerotic asphyxiation, a dirty little secret some people would like to keep hidden.
The movie was thought provoking and I talked about autoerotic asphyxiation or AeA with some of my friends. I learned that some very nice girls like to hold their breath right before they orgasm to heighten the sensation. I was surprised at the creativity but I didn’t think much of it until I watched Life as a House years later. Here I am watching a Kevin Kline movie and there is Hayden Christensen masturbating while strangling himself. I guess Anakin wants to make sure we know this is a serious Kevin Kline movie.
I found myself disturbed by this scene and I mentioned it to my guy friends to see if anyone knew any guys who pretended to hang themselves while masturbating. Every guy seemed to know of a friend from his youth who did it but no one owned up to doing it. After that, I started paying attention to unexplained hanging suicides of young men especially those in their underwear who didn’t leave a note.
I did a little research and uncovered a big taboo. Hundreds of years ago, people observed that hanged criminals had erections after death. People put two and two together and got bigger orgasms. During Victorian times London even had a “Hanged Men’s Club” that aided its members through the autoerotic asphyxiation process safely.
While 250 to 1000 deaths are attributed to AeA each year in America most parents are too ashamed to admit that their son was an accidental suicide and would rather clean up the scene before calling the cops and say he killed himself on purpose rather than he was trying to heighten his masturbation. Death by autoerotic asphyxia is almost entirely a 12-25 year old male problem and usually happened when the person was alone. Since many AeA accidents are caused by heart attacks before the person even loses consciousness the only benefit to having another person around is 911 is called.
These days young males are teaching each other to play “chocking games” by filming it and posting to YouTube and other sites. Unfortunately, these hormone driven youth are without the common sense God gave them and think nothing bad will happen while getting a sexual thrill though strangling.
Speaking of a lack of common sense, a friend of mine who works in an ER told me about another kind of AeA. Auto(mobile) Erotic Asphyxia caused one night by a young woman giving a BJ to the guy while he was driving. He hit a deer, and she accidentally bite through his penis. The car then crashed down a ravine where the couple was knocked unconscious. The woman suffocated due to the penis getting lodged deep in her throat and the man died from bleeding because no one saw the crashed car until dawn. If you want to get a hummer in your Hummer, pull over or do it in the back seat. Orgasms aren’t worth dying over.
Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Send your emails to glory@askglory.com or printz@usm.edu with “Attention: Glory” in the subject line.
About the Author:
Glory Fink is a writer, a housewife, a purveyor of euphemistically romantic materials, a photographer, a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in cashmere. She can be found playing with Shrodinger’s cat, traipsing through the back roads of the Mississippi Delta or concocting experiments in her lab/kitchen. Glory does not suffer fools gladly but will gladly suffer endless tours at the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory as long as the samples keep coming. She does her best writing in her pajamas and her best sleeping out of them. Glory’s cat is suspicious, her dog obliging and her husband humored by her many antics and efforts to become in reality what she is in her imagination.
Glory can be found living it up in Hattiesburg, Mississippi in a quaint (read: 19th Century era dilapidated) house in a newly historic district but still less reputable side of town with her husband/best friend, a miniature dachshund, and one cat who isn’t. The the outside cat came with the house; he is not a pet as much as ninja. Please feel free to email or call on Glory any time, her life could do with a few more interesting people.
Copyright © 2007, Glory Fink
For information about this work, please contact the author at the address set forth below. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce and distribute copies of this work for nonprofit educational purposes, provided that copies are distributed at or below cost, and that the author, source, and copyright notice are included on each copy. This permission is in addition to rights of reproduction granted under Sections 107, 108, and other provisions of the U.S. Copyright Act. Before making any distribution of this work, please contact Glory Fink to ascertain whether you have the current version. Permission inquiries can be made to Glory Fink at glory@askglory.com.